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How Little Billy's letters fooled the great and the not-so-good - Independent
12 March 2010, 7:01 pm



His name is Billy Geerhart, he's eight years old and he lives in Los Angeles. If you happen to be rich, famous and influential, he may have sent you a cute handwritten letter, earnestly seeking expert advice.

Billy once asked John Major how to be elected class president. The British PM merely sent back a signed photo. Billy also contacted former US Defence Secretary Robert Macnamara, asking him whether a moat would protect his treehouse from invasion. "It will work if you dig it deep enough, and your enemies can't swim," was the response.

His letter to bra-burning feminist Gloria Steinem wondered: "If the Six Million Dollar Man hit the Bionic Woman in a fight, would that be wrong?" Her reply: "The short answer to your question is yes ... it would only be fair if it was done in self-defence." One summer, Billy contacted some of America's most notorious serial killers, asking if he ought to drop out of school. David Berkowitz, known as Son of Sam, told him to stay in education and not "do self-destructive things". Charles Manson sent him pages of gibberish.

They were all victims of a big prank. Billy Geerhart was actually a bored adult, who has spent 15 years scrawling fake letters to public figures. The highlights have now been compiled in a book, Little Billy's Letters, which is due out in the UK next month.

William Geerhart, to use the author's proper name, invented Little Billy in 1994, when he moved to Los Angeles hoping to become a screenwriter, but found himself temporarily unemployed.

His first letter was fake fanmail to Dan Quayle. The former US Vice President's reply suggests that he accepted, without question, the proposition that an eight-year-old had recently ploughed through his turgid memoirs.

After that, Mr Geerhart began sending a letter every few days, squirrelling the replies away in a private collection. He has narrowed down the 1,000 or so replies to little Billy's letters to 120 for his book. Highlights include a letter from OJ Simpson's attorney, Robert Shapiro, offering advice on how Billy might get away with having destroyed his sister's doll: he should accuse the family dog of eating it and hire "a good forensic dentist".

Mr Geerhart said yesterday that he'd had trouble pitching the book to publishers because of concerns about copyright. But William Morrow eventually took it on, hoping to mimic the success of similar bestsellers, such as William Donaldson's Henry Root Letters.

His favourite chapter, said Mr Geerhart, sees eight-year-old Billy write to the heads of religious organisations, saying his parents have allowed him to choose a faith, and asking if they think he should join theirs. The Mormons sent missionaries to his doorstep, while the Church of Scientology sent him a letter with a pamphlet entitled: "Becoming an Operating Thetan".

"It contained a list of self-improvement courses they'd send me on," he said. "Some cost tens of thousands of dollars. It was fascinating that they saw fit to send that to an eight-year-old."

Written evidence: Little Billy's letters and the replies

*Dear Church of Scientology, My parents have allowed me to choose my own religion. Could you tell me what's cool about yours? My friend Eddie says you like aliens and volcanoes which sounds cool! Thanks, Billy

Dear Billy, Scientology is not a religion based on aliens and other such things. Scientology means: "knowing how to know in the full sense of the word." Do you have internet? I say this because you can get loads of information that [sic] if you go to scientology.org!? Love, Brittany Garrett, LA Registrar

*Dear Governor Palin, This is a project for my school. We're supposed to write to ask someone we admire a question. My grampa helped me find your address. He likes the way you wink at him from the TV. My question is we visited Alaska would you take us wolf hunting from your helicopter? That would be really cool! Could you also send a picture? Sincerely, Billy

Billy, Thank you for your letter to Governor Palin. I'll get it to her tomorrow. Like your Grandpa, I also like the way Sarah winks. I'm helping her with the mail... No wolf hunting from helicopters here. The news media thought that up. It is done in Russia, though, where pictures came from. Best Regards, Chuck Heath (Sarah's dad)

more at http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/how-little-billys-letters-fooled-the-great--and-the-notsogood-1920676.html

[Lorelei]

From another website (which isn't about protesting human rights abuses, but where anti-Scientology protests are discussed):

I didn't look closely at how high up Geerhart's correspondent was, but my understanding is that a lot of $cienos don't know the top levels of their belief system until they pay in enough. I hope there is enough information out there now to deter some of the clam-curious before they drop $25K or whatever.

Heber Jentzsch? Pretty damn high up, before he was banished to SP Hall.

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?t=4968

Some old info about the guy: http://www.holysmoke.org/heber/heber.htm

See also the info in subsection "Role" on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heber_Jentzsch

The second respondent, Brittany? Who the hell knows. Probably some eager beaver reg(istrar). Love the included "give us ur moneyz" donation envelope. How handy!

ETA: Old chart (1997); much has changed, but you can see the level of authority the guy was at, anyway.

[Google] How Little Billy's letters fooled the great and the not-so-good - Independent

Re: [Google] How Little Billy's letters fooled the great and the not-so-good - Independent

It's fun, seeing who-all has blown or been bunged into SP Hall or the RPF, and how many high-ranking Scienos have left the cult.

David Miscavige's wife, Shelley, has not been seen in public for a long time; it is surmised that she is in "SP (Suppressive Persons) Hall."

Mark "Marty" Rathbun has "blown" (left the cult), and fairly recently. Still an "Indie Scientologist," and there is a lot of speculation that he is planning a sort of coup to topple David Miscavige and take over the shambling remains of the CofS, or form his own splinter group, sucking in all the ex-Scis still convinced that the "tech" "works." Very close-mouthed about his own "crimes" while Inspector General for Ethics, and evasive about other top management personnel when asked.

Marc Yager of the Watchdog Committee / WDC is probably still on staff and still being beat up by Miscavige. http://www.whoisdavidmiscavige.com/tag/marc-yager/

Mark Ingber is reportedly out (and keeping very quiet), too: http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?t=5800

Heber Jentzsch is reportedly in "the SP Hall" at Gold Base in Hemet. He gets trotted out once in a blue moon to say "Heil Scientology!" at important Sci-meetings, and then gets tossed back in The Hole.

Kurt Weiland was demoted during the 1990s from being CO OSA Int to Deputy CO OSA Int for External Affairs. According to J. Swift: "Kurt Weiland took over some of Mike Rinder's duties in the Scientology Crime Syndicate. As such, Weiland is a prime candidate to be RPF'd by DM (Miscavige) for some sort of crime. Former Scilons have told me that Weiland is not the smartest guy in the world. Weiland now has his own page on the official FailCult website: http://www.scientology.org/news-media/biographies/weiland.html "

Michael "Mike" Rinder has blown, also pretty recently. Occasionally bundled with Rathbun as "the two MRs". I believe he is keeping on the down-low, for the most part, and refusing to talk much about his role in the CofS management structure (though he did speak in the recent St. Petersburg Times article series). He'd probably land in jail if he DID talk. http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/browse_thread/thread/72b45adb15e1d5c7
Lots of articles featuring Rinder being a lying spokeshole for Scientoology, and info such as, "Between July 17, 2008 and July 28, 2008, his bio page on the Church of Scientology's web site was removed." That probably gives you the exact day he was discovered missingm or "blown," http://www.xenu-directory.net/scienos/rinder1.html
Referred to as "the Goebbels of Scientology" by Chuck Beatty (though Beatty is FB friends with him now, and professes sympathy for him): http://lippard.blogspot.com/2008/03/mike-rinder-left-scientology.html

Kurt Büchele was listed on a leaked 1994 OSA INT list; a more recent list is not only about a fifth the length (fewer OSA people?), it also omits his name. "David Morse and Associates is infested with many former Guardian Office B1 Intelligence Bureau scilons like Thomas J. Reitze, president Duke Snider, chief executive officer Charles N. Ohl, general counsel Henning Heldt, senior vice president Klaus Buchele, chief operating officer. That is not coincidence, it is that way for a purpose. All those people were involved with Operation Snow White directly or indirectly. Reitze and Ohl were in the Flag GO. Snider and Heldt were in USGO. Buchele was in the GOWW."

Edith Büchele: Mentioned in (ex-Sci) Jesse Prince's 1998 affadavit, apparently had something to do with handling CofS's copyrights, but I can find no more current info on her; MIGHT help if I read Greek or German.

William Duckhorn: No information newer than 1995 found.

Thomas Whittle is presumably still the editor of "Freedom" magazine; verified as such through 2001.

Didn't feel like looking up more, but you get the idea.

If you're curious about Guardian's Office / Office of Special Affairs (the "investigative branch" of the CofS, responsible for keeping tabs on current and ex-Scis and critics, spamming the Internet with pro-Sci info / websites / comments and posing as concern trolls / fellow critics on critical websites, filing DMCAs on videos, flattening tires, harassing people with phone calls, all that sort of thing...and, BTW, does YOUR church (or spiritual belief system) have spies?), this thread covers a little bit about them:

Who's Who in OSA? http://forums.whyweprotest.net/123-leaks-legal/who-who-osa-int-46033/ See Mark Headley / Blown For Good's post.